Glad at being in company, the boy sat down upon the grass, and went on with his story. — " I crawled home as well as I could, and went to bed. When I was falling asleep I had the same feeling I had when sitting over the rock. I dared not lie in bed any longer ; for I couldn't keep awake while there. Glad was I when the day broke, and I saw a neighbour open his door, and come out. I was not well all day ; and I tried to think myself more ill than I was, because I somehow thought that then I needn't go to the wood. But the next day He was not to be put off; and I went, though I cried and prayed all the way that I might not be made to go. But I could not stop till I had got over all the hill, and reached the sand round the wood. When I put my foot on it, all the joints in me jerked as if going out of place ; so that I cried out with the pain. When I came under the trees, there was a noise, and shadows all round me. My hair stood on end, and my eyes kept glimmering; yet I couldn't go back. I went on till I found a crow's nest. I climbed the tree, and took out the eggs. The old crow kept flying round and round me. As soon as I felt the eggs in my hand, and my work done, I dropped from the tree, and ran for the hollow. How it was I can't tell, but it seemed to me I didn't gain a foot of ground, — it was just as if the whole wood went with me. Then I thought He had me his. The ground began to bend and the trees to move. At last I was nigh blind. I struck against one tree and another till I fell to the ground. How long I lay there I can't tell ; but when I came to, I was on the sand, the sun blazing hot upon me, and my skin scorched up. I was so stiff, and ached so, I could hardly stand upright. I didn't feel or think any thing after this; and hardly knew where I was, till somebody came and touched me, and asked me whether I was walking in my sleep ; and I looked up, and found myself close home. " The boys began to gather round, as if I were something strange ; and when I looked at them, they would move back from me.— `What have you been doing Abel ?' one of them asked me, at last. — `No good, I warrant you,' answered another who stood back of me ; and when I turned round to speak to him he drew behind the others as if afraid I should harm him, — and I was too weak and frightened to hurt a fly. — ' See his hands ; they are stained all over. And there's a crow's egg, as I'm alive,' said another. `And the crow is the Devil's bird, Tom, isn't it?´ asked a little boy. `O, Abel, you've been to that wood, and made yourself over.'— They moved off one after another, every now and then turning round and looking at me as if I were cursed. After this they would not speak to me, nor come nigh me. I heard people talking, and saw them going about, but not one of them all could I speak to, or get to come near me ; it was dreadful, being so alone ! I met a boy that used to be with me all day long ; and I begged him not to go off from me so, and to stop, if it wore only for a moment. 'You played with me once,' said I, ' and won't you so much as look at me, or ask me how I am when I am so weak and ill, too ?' Ho began to hang back a little, and I thought, from his face, that he pitied me. I could have cried for joy; and was going up to him, but he turned away. I called out after him, telling him that I would not so much as touch him with my finger, or come any nigher to him, if he would only stop and speak one word to me; but he went away shaking his head, and muttering something, I hardly knew what, how that I did not belong to them, but was the Evil One's now. I sat down on a stone and cried, and wished that I was dead ; for I couldn't help it, though it was wicked in me to do so." " And is there no one," asked Paul, who will notice you, or speak to you ? Do you live so alone now ?" It made his heart ache to look down upon the pining, forlorn creature before him. "Not a soul," whined out the boy. "My Grandmother is dead now ; and only the gentle- folks give me any thing ; for they don't seem afraid of me, though they look as if they didn't like me, and wanted me gone. All I can, I get to eat in the woods, and beg out of the village. But I dare not go far, because I don't know when He will want me. But I am not alone ; He's with me day and night. As I go along the street in the day time, I feel Him near me, though I can't see Him ; and it is as if He were speaking to me, and yet I don't hear any words. He makes me follow Him to that wood, and I have to sit the whole day where you found me ; and I dare not complain nor move, till I feel He will let me go. I've looked at the pines, sometimes, till I've seen as many spirits moving amongst them, as there are trees — O, 'tis an awful place,— they breathe cold upon me when He makes me go there." " Poor wretch," said Paul. „ I'm weak and hungry," said the boy, " and yet when I try to eat, something chokes me; I don't love what I eat." " Come along with me," said Paul, " and you shall have something to nourish and warm you ; for you are pale, and shiver and look cold here in the sun." The boy looked up at Paul, and the tears rolled down his cheeks, at hearing one speak so kindly to him. He got up, and followed meekly after, to the house. Paul seeing a servant in the yard, ordered the boy something to eat. The man cast his eye upon Abel, and then looked at Paul as if he had not understood him. — „I spoke distinctly enough;" said Paul, " and don't you see that the boy is nigh starved ?" — The man gave a myste- rious look at both of them, and with a shake of his head, as he turned away, went to do as he was bid. " What means the fellow ?" said Paul to him- self, as he entered the house. " Does he take me to be bound to Satan, too ? Yet there may be bonds upon the soul, 'though we know it not ; and evil spirits at work within us of which we little dream. And are there no beings but those seen of mortal eye, or felt by mortal touch? Are there not passing in and round this piece of moving mould, in which the spirit is pent up, those that it hears not, and has no finer sense whereby to commune with them ? Are all the instant joys that come and go, we know not whence nor whither, but creations of the mind ; or are they not bright and heavenly messengers, which, when this dull form drops off, and the spirit is set free, 'twill see in all their beauty, and drink in of their sweet sounds? O, yes, it is so ; and all around us is populous with joyous beings, invisible to us as the air."
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Richard Henry Dana: Paul Felton (1822) 6
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