This pent atmosphere has overcome him,' said Mr. Waring, "he's unused to it" And turned Paul, to lead him into the open air. He looked at him once more, as if to ask what he was doing, and then suffered himself to be led out of the room. He took, without seeming conscious of it, what Mr. Waring gave him ; and was walked to an outer door. This night air's cold," said Paul, shuddering. Cold ?" asked the old gentleman, surprised,. He felt of Paul's hand and forehead ; it was like touching the dead. You're ill, quite ill, Mr. Felton ; you must go home. Let me find Esther." I've found her out before you, old man.— Her," said he, in an eager whisper, seizing Mr. Waring by the arm, and looking close in his eye, " the net's nigh set that's to catch that bird; would you scare her away ?" 'This will never do ; you must go with me now. Your situation is worse than you are aware of." "No, in faith, it is not,' said Paul bitterly. " It was, but I know the worst now.— Let's to the room ;" said he quickly, " the fit's over, and I'm well again." „ Not well I fear," said Mr. Waring. " Yes, quite well, mind and body both ;" re- plied Paul, drawing himself up briskly and rub- ing his hands together hard, "and I'm calm, perfectly calm." He turned, and leaving the old gentleman at the door, walked into the room as composedly as if nothing had happened. Those who had seen him, supposed that the close, hot air had oppressed his brain, and thought nothing more of the matter. Mr. Waring remembered his mysterious words, and was alarmed ; for he had some little insight into the structure of Paul's mind. Esther had mingled with the crowd' at a distant part of the room ; but Paul soon discov- ered where she was ; for she was carrying on a brisk conversation with those round her. He drew near enough to hear her gay laugh, and the bandying of smart and pleasant sayings from one to another. Other thoughts and feelings filled Paul's soul. He stood amidst all the light and rattle like some black, solid body that noth- ing penetrated. Mysterious shapes, which told him in part of something dreadful, were wander- ing through his mind with a fearful, shadow- like stillness— the scene directly before him seemed set off at an infinite distance ; and his lonely soul held its own musings, known to none earth. „ Can we love," said he to himself, " and one sad, and yet no secret sympathy tell the other of it ? Were Esther cast down, though I saw her light, the spirits that are about us, and know what's in our hearts, would whisper it to me. — Idiot ! boy ! Talk I of love ? Is not her heart another's ? Ere I knew her, 'twas his. In mind — in mind she's his now — at this instant." — He darted from the place he was in, and taking his stand just outside the circle, and oppo- site Esther, stood watching her, without being seen, Frank was by her side, playing with her chin. " What, so constant !" said Paul to himself. Could not the seas nor travel cure you ! But I have that that will. Yet ye're a faithful pair ; end it would break two loving hearts. No, no, I´ll not be cruel. Why talk I of you, ye cox- comb?— What are you to me? 'Tis she, 'tis she ; and I'll see what's in that heart, though I tear it from her." " And where's Mr. Felton to-night, that he's not with us?" asked one.— "O, at home, no doubt," answered a peevish maiden. ' He loves no plays, as thou dost, Antony,' " said she mali- ciously, looking first at Frank and then at Esther. Esther could not but observe her very significant manner ; and innocent as her heart was of all improper thoughts, she felt pained and embarrassed. Paul watched the changes of her countenance. "And is her name so stale already?" said he to himself. "Do they tell her to her very teeth that she's a — ?"— There was a short pause. Esther was looking beyond the circle to relieve herself of the sight of those immediately about her, when her eyes suddenly met those of Paul, which were fixed on her with a deadly look. She started back with a shriek. There was a general alarm, and Paul pressed in towards her.—" What's the matter, what was it?" cried they all at once. "I know not," said Esther, trying to recover herself a little. " 'Twas a — a spider, I believe." " Ugly things those," muttered Paul to her in an under tone, as he half supported her, — " that lie hid in corners with meshes spread for silly flies. Beware, for they draw the blood, and have their prey hanging for the common eye," Esther shuddered at his words, as she heard his breath come hard from suppressed passion. She nearly sank to the floor, confounded, morti- fied and afraid. Never had Paul looked on her so before. She had seen hate, and revenge, and triumph in his eye. Then, lest those about her should suppose the consciousness of detected, guilty thoughts had overcome her — it was more than she could bear.— „ I'm ill. O, take me away," she cried in an imploring tone. Frank came eagerly forward. "Not you, not you," she said impatiently, waving him back, while Paul supported her in his arms, his eyes resting on her pale, sorrowful countenance. " Where's my child," cried her father, rushing forward, as Paul was bearing her to their car- riage. " Safe, with her husband," answered Paul, in a steady but gentle voice. The old gentleman looked up at him, and saw a tear in his large, dark eye. Taking out his cloak, Paul wrapt it irefully about Esther, and placed her in the carriage. "Will you go with us, Sir?" said Paul, respectfully. Mr. Waring put his foot upon the step.—" I had better not,“ thought he, and drew back. Esther observed her father's hesitation; and putting out her hand to him, said, with a forced smile, " I shall be quite well presently. Good night, Sir."
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Richard Henry Dana: Paul Felton (1822) 10
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